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[sizhui]

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Lan Sizhui ⬤ Mo Dao Zu Shi
residential district ⬤ text
moonblessing ⬤ Iris

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[downswing]

He is impulsive. Unfilial. Given to drink. Studying, but not yet achieved in cultivation. Untried in war. Knows none of the precepts.

He is the son of two clans that abolished your own.

Still yes?

[sizhui]

Is it fair to call him unfilial when he has never had parents, and one of the people who raised him turned out to be... how he is, and the other doesn't even know him, here? He is impulsive, but I have seen how dedicated he can be to his uncles, as well as to what is right.

He has earned my trust. He makes everything seem more... *right* when he is close. When he is hurting, so am I.

Can it be no?

[downswing]

Yes or no.

Do not speak to me in Yiling riddles.

[sizhui]

It's not a riddle wh

I apologize, Hanguang-jun.

For myself, the answer is that I would have him. But it is not as simple as wanting, not when others might be hurt by it .

[downswing]

If you will have him, he may present suit.

What others?

[sizhui]

Hanguang-jun... Isn't that for when you want to have a future together? We only have the present. No yesterday, no tomorrow...

It's why I don't want to bind him to only myself. It seems cruel to him. I want him to be happy, not heartbroken or an oath-breaker.

It's

Some.

A maiden. Another young master. The other Lan disciple who went home.

Elder brother - the me from your world - maybe, too? I'm not sure. He has yet to really get to know Jin Ling.

I want him to be mine. I do. But I want more for him to be happy and loved and cared for even when I can't do it for him. Especially when I can't do it for him.

Do you think a suit is the best thing to do?

[downswing]

You entertain other claimants.

You made no introductions.

[sizhui]

[ Sizhui hides his face in both of his hands for a moment. It's... so complicated. ]

Yes, but at the same time, it's different. It's like. Jin Ling is the one who makes me complete. But I, or he, or sometimes both of us, also like someone else, too? Like Maiden Yuri's gentleness and dedication and acceptance of having to sacrifice herself, or Harry's hope despite his sadness, or Jingyi's always doing the right thing, or trying to - he goes on night hunts despite being terrified of ghosts, you know? Each of them is some one I want to see happy, to join in the happiness of. Each of them makes my heart warm.

But the one who sets it on fire is Jin Ling.

[downswing]

This, then, is how you were raised.




( OFF TO DROWN HIMSELF. )

[sizhui]

[ Oh.

Ow.

After a little bit. ]

I am sorry for being a disappointment, Hanguang-jun.

[downswing]

You would not know how to be one.

[sizhui]

[ Ha... hahahaha tell that to the boy who tried to bring light back in his father's eyes for most of his life and failed, day after day. ]

There has never been a failing in the teaching.

Only in me.

[downswing]

No.

Should have asked the ways of Lan Sizhui's heart.

[sizhui]

And before I knew, I would have misled you.

I am sorry. I do hope Elder brother lives up to your expectations and teachings better. You deserve the best of all of us, Hanguang-jun, but especially me.

[downswing]

It is not for you to grieve my ignorance.

[sizhui]

It should not be for you to grieve even more than you have been, yet I made you do so.

I

What can I do to make it up, a little?

[downswing]

You surprised me.

You did not offend me. You do not disappoint.

[sizhui]

Thank you, Hanguang-jun.