sizhui | Inbox for prismatica

I'm sure.

[ Softly.

And then he straightens slightly, eyes fixed on Jin Ling, a little wide, though the smile only wavers for a moment, before steadying. Brightening. ]

Oh. Well, I'm not exactly looking for anyone else, either. Although if Jingyi comes back, perhaps him, too.

[ He takes a deep breath, blinking away the sadness about that absence. But also...

Not quite managing it.

So, instead, he leans in to claim Jin Ling's lips into a kiss. To swallow down sadness, chasing it away with his greatest joy here.

Then he bumps their noses together lightly as he adds in a soft, soft voice. ]

Give them the beads, A-Ling. Let them also have a chance to know if ... if you're no longer in this world.

[ The mood from earlier. It wasn't Sizhui being upset about the gift idea.

It's just that it's complicated, and putting it all into words is beyond even Sizhui. ]

Of course Jingyi is welcome, I wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

[ He knows where he ranks on that one.

But then Sizhui looked at him so sadly that Jin Ling drowned just before he was kissed, and his frown only deepened after it, looking worried, though he did nuzzle back a little. ]

What? What do you mean?

Not standing in the way of anything, A-Ling. Standing together.

[ Then he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Jin Ling's. Took a couple of breaths before he breathed some air into the words, his fingers tightening once again around Jin Ling's. ]

My room is full of Jingyi's things, and Zizhen's things. But only the things they bought or brought after they came to Lunatia. Everything they came with - from Jingyi's carelessly discarded brush to that one hair ornament that Zizhen never actually wore - they are all gone.

[ It was good that Sizhui’s face was so close, so he couldn’t see the way Jin Ling paled at those words. ]

So if I disappear— it will disappear. Right out of your grasp. At the same moment.

[ He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. ]

Well. Yes. But, A-Ling.

[ Bright. Sweet. Steady. ]

It means that while it's here, so are you.

[ Oh. His heart faltered a little, Sizhui managing to blow right past his defenses and clench his sweet smile right around his heart. ]

... Yeah okay.

I wish —

Well.

I’m glad you can know hat I’m here, at least.

But that just means I’m going to have to get you something more permanent.

[ Sizhui shifts the hold of his hand until his fingers wrap around Jin Ling's wrist, where he had wound the ribbon... not that long ago. Reminding him that Jin Ling has something like that, too. Something of Sizhui's.

Then his eyes widen slightly, a faint blush on his cheeks. ]

More... permanent. [ Slight nod. Heavens above, he wants. He wants permanent. On the other hand, wanting a gift feels kind of selfish. And yes, he is already thinking of what he can gift Jin Ling in return. ] All right.

Also we can go look for that place where I got proper tea from home that one time. So you don't... feel strange without proper hair ornaments. If you want.

[ He means the ware wolf shop. It would feel a little odd to see Jin Ling without any gold in his hair. But then again, if he chooses that, Sizhui isn't going to question it. ]

[ It’s an effective reminder, though Jin Ling currently has it stashed safely in a handkerchief against his heart - he was pretty sure that he would get a lot of flak from everyone if he tied it into his hair. Sometimes he still wanted to anyway. But the reminder did make the blush flood his face. He didn’t even notice how his free hand touched his chest. ]

Yeah. Something- something you can have even if I— [ Nope couldn’t say it. ] - even if you have to wait for me for a little while.

[ He paused at the suggestion, considering deeply, and then shook his head. He still had the crown, after all, he wouldn’t be entirely gold-less, and... ]

So, this way it’s- everyone can see it, this way. Even if we never explain it in words, I’ll never have to. It’ll just - it’ll be obvious who is mine. Who I care about. It’ll mean more. Especially if you guys are in trouble and need jiujiu or something.

Edited 2020-05-04 14:20 (UTC)

[ Sizhui's arms tighten around Jin Ling, just a little. And there is a whispered, ] I would wait.

[ Just so that Jin Ling doesn't start to doubt.

Then his shoulders relax a fraction. ]

I like it. And I think it would be good to see it on them, too.

[ His heart thumped a little painfully and unexpectedly, the words hitting him deeper than he expected. He shouldn’t want that. He should want Sizhui to be happy regardless of where he was. Shouldn’t want him to pine or wait or yearn. He shouldn’t. But the promise still makes his throat tight.

He was not going to mention how much that meant to him. He was not going to add that as an extra burden if he disappeared.

But it did make him breath out, leaning in to press his forehead to side of Sizhui’s head, closing his eyes for a second as he rested there. ]

... Yeah, [ He murmured, before pressing a kiss to the shell of Sizhui’s ear. ]

I like it, too.

I really like it on you, A-Yuan.

[ Jin Ling, please. Who says that Sizhui can't be happy and wait for you. Not completely happy, of course, but you know him. He will do his best to not be heartbroken only. He will live.

Just live better, more fully, when you are here.

So, please. Let the words matter.

Meanwhile, it's Sizhui's turn to blush, the ear shell heating beneath Jin Ling's lips, his hand moving to burrow his fingers under the wealth of Jin Ling's hair and stroke up and down the side of his neck. ]

Mm... what else... do you think looks good?

[ The question might be a touch breathy, but it can be interpreted at something other than... outright suggestive.

Right? ]

[ It’s like he can feel the air thicken, or the wind being taken from his lungs rather than filling them, on the next breath. He might have missed the implication, maybe, if Sizhui wasn’t touching him like that. But it was impossible like this.

He’s even forgotten that they are just sitting outside under a tree.

He flushed, tilting his head a little so he could press a kiss to Sizhui’s earlobe, instead, and then another to the curve of his jaw just below. ]

What, besides you? [ He asks quietly, nuzzles a little bit in against the side of Sizhui’s face so his words even murmured are all too clear beside his ear. ]

You always look good, it really isn’t fair. But I... I like it when your hair is loose, too...

[ And the headband isn’t holding it up... ]

(( Wangji just happens to be walking by. He takes note of the juniors canoodling under the tree, stops briefly to blink, then sighs and continues on. He certainly remembers what it was like to be young and in love. ))

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