sizhui | Inbox for prismatica

Well, not so full. Other than the four of us, it's only Senior Wei and Mr. Wen. It's been a lot more full. I won't tell him anything you don't want me to tell him. Are you No, just tell me when you get here. They are out for the moment so you'll have a bit of time to explain and I to try to help, yeah?

ok i'll be in soon

( and soon enough he arrives with a soft knock on his door, a bag of goodies in hand. he's already made jin ling sample a bunch of sugary, awful for you candy from a different era — now it is sizuhi's turn. )

[ And Sizhui lets him in, nodding towards the kitchen. He's really almost done, and they're likely to know if anyone as loud as Jin Ling and Jingyi come in with good advance warning, as opposed to those two flying in through the window of Sizhui's room directly, or something.

Also, there is tea. Loose-leaf and good, the kind that Hanguang-jun has become satisfied with. Sizhui will not have anything less, for Senior Wei, and therefore for anyone else in the house.

Also. ]

Do you need moonlacing? Healing?

[ Something wrong means he had better start with that. ]

( apart from an unusually red, rubbed raw hue to the lightning bolt on his head, harry seems altogether as well put together as he ever does — which is not really, but satisfactory enough. he follows in after sizhui, settling a cloth bag down on the kitchen island. )

No. Well — yes. I guess.

( does he need moonlacing? no. does he want to be held? yes sir.

instead of that, he takes a seat on a chair where he can watch sizhui finish up cooking, his chin in his palm and a tired expression on his face. )

I got into a fight with someone, sort of. I didn't want to tell Jin Ling because I didn't want him to get angry and do something ... irrational. ( a small pause, and he shuts his eyes. ) Do you think it's normal to be this existentially exhausted when you think about your life?

[ It's fine. Sizhui pours the tea and then comes behind the chair to wrap himself around Harry's back.

He knows Jin Ling. He knows what the reaction would be, if he heard those words.

And so the conclusion he can draw is, ] you don't want Jin Ling to pick a fight with whoever you encountered. Got it.

And yeah. I've seen it ... here and there. Maybe not normal, but it's happened. [ Sizhui is quiet for moment, then adds, even quieter, ] I may be wrong, but as often as not it seems to be a thing ... with people who have lost a lot. 'm sorry.

( at first, he tilts his head back to find the curve of sizhui's shoulder, hands flattening out on his arms to keep him held close. finding this unsatisfactory, he peels away, turning in the chair enough to face him head on, wrapping his arms around sizhui's neck instead. hugging him, harry lets out a breath like he didn't know he was holding it, words a little muffled as they're mushed against his shoulder. )

It's fine.

( it's fine in the way that it isn't, but there really isn't anything much to be done about it. he switches gears, )

Do you think a magic that could read your mind is ... morally ambiguous? Or is it evil?

[ You know what... That won't be comfortable for Harry soon, but they'll think of that when it comes to that. Sizhui can slip in his lap, too, for all the complications should someone walk in.

But full-on cuddling is good, and Sizhui is basking in it, too.

He almost smiles, sadly, at the question. Yuri... ]

Morally ambiguous, yes. Especially the one I know here who can't stop the powers from activating but is only limited to seeing, or rather experiencing, the worst, most traumatic, most guilt-filled memories.

Evil... not inherently. But it's not something to be taken lightly.

— Are we talking about the same person? ( he peels back a little, in surprise. ) Gabriel?

( though, after a second of thinking about it harry settles back into him, the offering of a small nuzzle against the bend of sizhui's neck. )

No ... he definitely meant to do it.

I guess I can see mind reading as being useful in some capacity, but ... you have to be responsible with it, right? ( it's not like legilimency is illegal, or anything. most of them can't control their abilities either. harry sighs. ) I guess I'm not really looking for an answer, I was just ... ( he shakes his head ) I've just been feeling off, since it happened.

... young master Bai? No, not really. I didn't even know he has an ability such as that. No, it's Yuri - the third person Jin Ling gave his string of beads to. It activates on touch, or even sometimes by glance, and she has no real control. I've asked someone if there may be some sort of a charm that could suppress it so she doesn't have to ... deal with it all the time, but we'll see if she's willing to share enough about herself, let alone if it can happen.

[ The soft babble trails off as the rest of the words sink in, and he nuzzles back, then cranes his neck a bit to press a kiss to Harry's temple, above the arms of his glasses. ]

When her powers activated on Jin Ling's uncle, he lashed out, badly. I heard that if other people hadn't come, he might have... killed her. She bore scars, on her back and her cheeks. And she didn't even do it on purpose.

So it's... it's all right to not be all right.

[ He breathes out softly. ]

Would it help if I talk about other things and distract you? Or I could hum one of the soothing songs that I know - it'd be better on the guqin, but that would mean less holding.

— Oh. I didn't know she could do that, or anything about any of that ... I've spoken with her, I think once. Huh.

( he could think of his own methods to help her — she's family by extension of jin ling, after all, and harry is never one to shy away from offering a helping hand. but. for the time being, the idea of shutting his brain off seems more appealing than any words could ever say, and that sizhui is offering it is a kindness he isn't yes used to.

he perks up at the mention of songs, peeling away but keeping his hands warm on top of sizhui's shoulders. harry tilts his head, curiously. )

I didn't know you were a musician. ( and, a little sheepishly, ) To be honest, I don't even know what a guqin is. I'd love if you could show me, though.

( he will figure out cuddling around it, no problem. )

Yeah. She is... something. It's easy for her with Jin Ling and me, because the bad things that have happened, we were too young and people kept us away from them, so we didn't experience them, only the consequences.

[ Sizhui smiles, just a little. ]

Let me give this one more good stir, and I'll show you. Take your tea, if you want!

[ And out of the kitchen he leads, and into the music room, soundproof and warded against many spells so the Lans in residence can practice without worry.

The seven-stringed zither is laid out on a low table, the pegs correctly out from the surface and tassels hanging out.

Sizhui settles on the floor cushion and points to it with a gesture of his palm. ]

This is a guqin. It is not quite as impressive as Hanguang-jun's Wangji, but it serves me well enough.

The Lan sect's cultivation methods are tangled with music, there are many songs that we use, in night hunts but also in healing. Usually, any instrument could do, but the guqin is the most powerful.

( he does pick up his tea as he trails after sizhui, sipping it thoughtfully as he walks through. he'll always prefer black, but jin ling has gotten him accustomed to green, too — there's always something nice in someone else preparing your tea that goes beyond the flavor, so he enjoys it as they cross the threshold into the practice room.

it's a pretty impressive instrument, in and of itself. harry regards it with the same reverence sizuhi seems to, stepping in front to see the full image — sizhui and the guqin together. it does seem to suit him, beyond just a matching color palette. it's elegant and beautiful, just like him. )

Cool ...

( he crouches down in front of him, eyeing the instrument, before reaching a hand forward ... he stops short, though, eyes lifting up to find sizhui's. )

Is it, um, illegal if I touch?

[ Sizhui's always careful about preparing the tea, letting it only steep very briefly before removing the leaves, so as to get the best aroma and flavor with very little of the bitterness. It is a long-standing habit to make it right so that Hanguang-jun's face doesn't tighten at the first sip, and he's still making it just so.

Either way, the question makes him shake his head, but also get closer to a smile than he has been ever since Harry's arrival. ]

You may touch, it's pretty sturdy, really. One could probably whack people with it, but it tends to be a better weapon when used for music anyway. [ He sets his hands in his lap to allow Harry to explore the instrument on his own.

... and, yes, he can still play if someone decides to settle in his lap. He doesn't need to look all the time, anyway. ]

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