(( Wangji nods in thanks as he accepts the tea. He sips it thoughtfully, savoring the flavor. Now that they know where to get quality tea, life has been more normal. He lowers the glass and looks to Sizhui with his usual impassive gaze. ))
Yes, Hanguang-jun. I always do my best, though sometimes it can't really be helped, like when Jingyi disappeared.
But it only feels right if nobody gets hurt, and I try to make sure they don't! Because how could something bring me joy when it grieves another? At least if I can help it...
Also, Senior Beitang helped with some advice, one evening when Jin Ling was upset and I went to comfort him. About communication and boundaries and such.
(( It doesn't bother him that Sizhui got advice from Moran. He's a smart man able to better articulate such things. Especially now that Wangji is unsure what sort of things are permissible outside his relationship with Wei Wuxian. ))
[ Sizhui reaches to hold one of Hanguang-jun's hands, without even thinking about it. There are few people with greater power to hurt his father than, well, his other father.
After a moment, his eyes turn down. ]
I... If Jingyi had stayed, [ quietly, ] I have no idea if he would have been all right with me and other people.
[ For all the people calling Jingyi an un-Lan Lan - in which people are wrong, Sizhui would always remind anyone - Jingyi is still a descendant of Lan An. One fated person... ]
I would have done my best to not hurt him or anyone else if he hadn't been, too. Right now, I think those I am close to in the kissing way are all right with all of it. I think.
[ If someone is hiding discomfort, Sizhui hasn't caught a hint of it yet. ]
(( Wangji is silent for a long moment, pondering how best to phrase his thoughts. Though he himself is not in love with anyone but Wei Ying, he understands from this place that such a thing is possible. ))
I believe... (( pause. )) It is possible to have more than one fated person. There can be, for some people, room in the heart for more than one.
[ Sizhui doesn't plop his chin on a hand, but he is very intensely attentive, the way he has been throughout his childhood and adolescence, really.
And, just like always, he has questions. ]
Is the person in your heart always your fated one? Or people? What if the person is from an entirely different world, and they are in your heart - how could they be your fated one? Could people be in your heart, truly, but not be your fated one?
[ The one question he knows not to ask: how would you know. ]
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[ Sizhui opens the door without hesitation, letting him in. ]
Come in, would you like tea?
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(( Which is to say yes, he would like tea. He looks around for a convenient place to sit and waits for Sizhui to do the same. ))
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[ Sizhui doesn't dally in bringing the tea and pouring it, and then settles next to his father. Whatever the reason for the conversation, he is ready!
... he thinks. ]
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Are you moonlacing responsibly?
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Sizhui blinks. Then tilts his head very slightly, because. ]
I have not been letting my chroma levels get low, but I am not sure that is what you are asking, Hanguang-jun.
[ ... that way, definitely moonlacing responsibly. But... is it about that... ]
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There are some actions to which others may correspond certain feelings.
(( A pause. A very long pause. ))
I hope you are discussing such things with your moonlacing partners lest you or they be hurt.
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But it only feels right if nobody gets hurt, and I try to make sure they don't! Because how could something bring me joy when it grieves another? At least if I can help it...
Also, Senior Beitang helped with some advice, one evening when Jin Ling was upset and I went to comfort him. About communication and boundaries and such.
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(( It doesn't bother him that Sizhui got advice from Moran. He's a smart man able to better articulate such things. Especially now that Wangji is unsure what sort of things are permissible outside his relationship with Wei Wuxian. ))
I am glad.
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Then...
Why the question...? ]
Hanguang-jun, did you get hurt?
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The Wei Ying who was here before wanted to lay with others. At first, it hurt, but we came to an accord.
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After a moment, his eyes turn down. ]
I... If Jingyi had stayed, [ quietly, ] I have no idea if he would have been all right with me and other people.
[ For all the people calling Jingyi an un-Lan Lan - in which people are wrong, Sizhui would always remind anyone - Jingyi is still a descendant of Lan An. One fated person... ]
I would have done my best to not hurt him or anyone else if he hadn't been, too. Right now, I think those I am close to in the kissing way are all right with all of it. I think.
[ If someone is hiding discomfort, Sizhui hasn't caught a hint of it yet. ]
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I believe... (( pause. )) It is possible to have more than one fated person. There can be, for some people, room in the heart for more than one.
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And, just like always, he has questions. ]
Is the person in your heart always your fated one? Or people? What if the person is from an entirely different world, and they are in your heart - how could they be your fated one? Could people be in your heart, truly, but not be your fated one?
[ The one question he knows not to ask: how would you know. ]
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(( He pauses to order his thoughts. ))
Of course. You are in my heart, but in a different way than Wei Ying.
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[ Sizhui beams at him softly, but then back to chewing on thoughts. ]
Well, anyway. I have been trying hard to not make anyone hurt.
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Is there a way which is right? And righteous?
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Then I will find my way. Even if the things I want seem to be contradicting half the time.
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The rules are there to guide you, but they are not always what's right. You will find your way. I have no doubts.