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[sizhui]

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Lan Sizhui ⬤ Mo Dao Zu Shi
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[sizhui]

That just has never stopped him.

But the thing is, he didn't decide for me. He didn't tell me to not, or to stop, or anything like that. He's just sad.

Because he tried so much to give me safety and good things. And

And I can't be a proper Lan.

So it's - he always knew I'm not. This is just reminding him.

He's not judging me for it.

He's judging himself for failing to make it so I will be safe and... all right.

Anyway. It. It's enough that you're not the kind of worried that will make you back off. I'm here. There are things that - I couldn't know about myself before this place. So we will all have to get used to them. It's just upsetting until we do, but it's not the bad kind of upsetting. At least... the kind that will make things bad in the long run. I don't think.

So. I'm glad that you're here. That's enough.

So, what about your dad?

[inheritedpain]

i can take it


but thats
you ARE a proper lan, what’s that even supposed to mean
you are safe
you are all right

who does he think I am, that i wouldn’t make sure you were okay???

i’ll be more than enough
just wait
you’ll see
i’ll prove him wrong







he just
he said some stuff
if he says weird things to you just let it go okay

[sizhui]

A-Ling. You take good care of me, you know. You're there when I need you, even when I haven't even thought that you do. You also make sure I don't just. Let things happen, instead of trying to make them better. You remind me I deserve things, when I just don't think about it. You don't need to prove anything else to anyone.


... okay. Are *you* okay?

[inheritedpain]

[ Ugh.

He hates how that makes him choke up a little. Good thing he's alone!!!


...

But he also just can't address any of that, so he won't!! Moving on!! ]


yeah, i just

feel really guilty i guess

he just reminded me there's a lot of stuff he's not going to see
or witness
or be there for

and maybe i should be trying harder to

i don't know

[sizhui]

Oh.

If there is anything that I can help with.

Anything.

You know that I would, right?

[inheritedpain]

well i told him i would introduce you


i just

i know you would and you wouldn’t even think about whether or not it would be a bad thing for you

but i can’t just try to recreate the life he’s going to miss for him

that wouldn’t be honest either

[sizhui]

Yes, of course.


Why would it not be g




It would need to be. Considered.

It's

It's not even about it not being good for me?

But considering this place. I wouldn't want to make you an oath breaker by asking an oath of you.

But on the other hand, I can understand where he is coming from, too. And none of this is because either of us wants to hide.

[inheritedpain]

I'm not going to make an oath breaker of you either. I won't.

If your actually fated person appeared I [ deleted. ]




but of course i understand

it's not like i want him to miss all of that

even back home i


even things like
my birthday
i think about them

of course i do

[sizhui]

[ Well, good, because Sizhui might have cried a little if Jin Ling sent that. But just a little. ]

I appreciate that. What's one more thing, with a Wen [ very, very deleted. But ... truly. But it matters to Jin Ling, and that makes the thought - hurtful. He tries to shut it away. ]

But no, I think something like a marriage - it can't be done rushed or not right, no matter how much you may want to give it to him.

We'll figure it out. At least there was his birthday, and we can figure out other special occasions? Ones that matter here and now, not - not attempts to recreate the past.

[inheritedpain]

[ Maybe one day he won’t feel completely insecure about everything all the time but today is not that day. ]

i know
and i wouldn’t anyway it just

hurts, i guess

or recreate a future i don’t even know and honestly don’t want to think about

what kind of special occasions?